you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
