i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize