hell yes lets make some ravioli
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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