sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
