just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I deserve this hangover.
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