Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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