What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
