we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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