I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Those nachos came to me in a dream
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
