I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Randomize
