I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize