He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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