ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize