I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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