I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
