You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
