we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
