I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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