Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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