It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
