Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
