I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
