a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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