I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
