WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
