dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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