it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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