Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
