My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
