just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
