My hair reeks of homosexuality.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
