Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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