O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
