apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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