Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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