why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
