goodnight i made you a song goodbye
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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