I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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