I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
