3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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