just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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