Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
