Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
