I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
