I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
