We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
