Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
