That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
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i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
