Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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