I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Who died my cat blue again?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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