Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
