Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
