I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Randomize
