I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize