So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just tell him i said nine months
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
