Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
