Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
