If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
