So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
