speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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