Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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