Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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