are you still at the devil's house?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
